How the dolt factor intensifies

Next time you're out shopping, which for most of us will sadly be before Christmas, look around with the specific mission of identifying dolts. You'll find it's not difficult. There will be someone browsi...

Wayne’s Melbourne Cup tips

Mug punter. Couldn't tell its head from its tail. Fairweather friend of the racing industry. I'm guilty as charged. That said, I do enjoy Melbourne Cup day and you'll likely find me and Wanda well and truly ...

Some people need to be swatted

I like my neighbours. I've been drawn to the 5pm watering ritual, a 20-minute excuse to empty the rainwater tank while trading banter over the pickets. I had some geraniums next to Jack's side of the fenc...

To the winner goes the spoils

FOOTBALL finals bring out my primeval instincts. There's something about two teams of grown men giving a contest every ounce of energy. We don't see it often enough, because professional sporting teams are m...

When I come back as a chicken …

I like to think I'm a spiritual type, respectful of all religions and beliefs. Some may say I'm a deep thinker, too deep at times. Which, of course, got me thinking. If reincarnation is a thing, and there...

Money wouldn’t change me, my foot

The trumpery comes ad nauseum over the griller at village barbecues. Money wouldn't change me, they say with noble intention and the knowledge that in all likelihood, the money they have from the superannuat...

Pyjamas, avante-garde, whatever

Standing in line at Logan Entertainment Centre waiting for my vaccination, I couldn't help but notice the young lady wearing pyjamas. The left hemisphere of my brain, the creative side, was giving her the be...

You’ll have to farewell me at the footy

"Wayne, you're a broken record, banging on about these darn Covid restrictions until you're blue in the face, as if you think you can actually change the minds of reactive bureaucrats." Wise words, Wanda. ...