The stigma, “men don’t talk”, is outdated and on the out thanks to a nationally acclaimed program headed Logan’s way.
The Men’s Table is a not-for-profit aiming to create safe and non-judgemental spaces for men to share their feelings and be heard – ultimately creating a greater sense of “belonging, camaraderie and connection”.
With more than 200 around Australia, a “table” typically consists of up to 12 strangers meeting up for dinner.
The man currently volunteering his time to organise a table in Logan, Andrew McKee, said the model was proving effective.
“I’ve been involved with a Brisbane table for a bit over three years,” Mr McKee said.
“Too many guys don’t have a safe place to talk.
“Often we get interrupted, talked over the top of, or told how we should have done something – and guys don’t listen that well.”
He said there had been a “terrific response” from table participants.
“We’ve had a number of men who have made a number of significant decisions about their lives,” he said.
The Men’s Table’s own data shows 95 per cent or table participants feel it is a safe space to share, 84 per cent feel a stronger sense of community belonging, and 80 per cent report a benefit to their mental health and wellbeing.
Mental health conditions are the most common long-term health conditions among Logan residents, according to the latest Census data, affecting more than 13,500 local men.
“We’re little bit behind the pace, but we’re improving,” Mr McKee said.
“The guys in Logan are multicultural, so I think it would be really good if there was diversity at the table.
“If it’s just white, middle-aged guys then I think we’ve missed a big opportunity.”
Each table follows six guidelines:
- One man talks at a time.
- Speak from the heart, use ‘I feel’ comments.
- No interrupting.
- No fixing anyone’s problems.
- No religion and no politics
- Confidentiality and commitment to meeting attendances makes for a healthier table.
The Men’s Table co-founder David Pointon said monthly meetings strengthened friendships and support, which was “important for our mental and emotional health”.
“Having a place to openly talk about what we’re feeling really improves communication skills, not only with peers but it ripples out into other relationships in men’s lives,” Mr Pointon said.
“Men at tables tell us they feel a sense of belonging and connection because they know they have a support network if they need it.
“And they feel a sense of community because they can also be the support that someone turns to in a time of need.”
He said the stigma that “men don’t talk” was incorrect.
“Men do talk, as long as they feel safe and they know that what they’re sharing will be kept confidential,” Mr Pointon said.
“Men in Logan will benefit just like other men around the country have when they experience the connection that comes from being heard in a non-judgemental space.
“It’s a simple thing and it works wonders.
“We’re really looking forward to meeting the men in Logan who decide to come along and see if it’s for them.”
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