I LOVE a good feed of the Colonel’s chook, but in no way do I think I could live on the stuff.
Not exclusively. Nor with a blend of golden arched two-all-beef anything, or a flame-grilled burger that’s apparently better.
There’s now Mexican, Greek, Italian – none of them seemingly cognisant of a population crying out for healthier lifestyle choices.
If the salt don’t get you, the sugar will.
Regardless, I have a friend who is trying to tell me their fast-food addiction is tied to the rising cost of living.
Their argument, put simply, is that it’s cheaper to eat fast food than it is to buy fruit and vegetables from the supermarket.
Rising rents and mortgage payments have sent my long-time work colleague into a fried frenzy, and sent his scales into overdrive.
Just two months into his “cost-of-living” crisis, he’s put on 7kg and coughs a lung mid sentence.
But he makes a point.
Petrol has blown the budget out $10 a week, energy costs are almost double what they were a few years ago, and Netflix – now that he’s no longer able to “borrow” the service from his parents – just keeps rising faster than a high tide.
He can’t stop driving because he wouldn’t be able to work, can’t stop using air conditioning because the sweat marks will ruin his furniture, and Netflix is his life.
Easier said than done: Ride a bicycle, open the windows, get a new life.
So for the time being, he’s looking for ways to fuel his anatomy. Which got me looking for a sound argument that would prove his theory wrong, and bring his taste buds back in the process.
Universities will be clamouring to award me a doctorate for this piece of work.
I looked through five fast food apps and found budget options. Weekdays. It would be hypocritical of me to include weekends. Junk food and football are an inseparable match.
Two all-beef plastic cheese burgers, chips and drinks at $15 (Monday); five pieces of fatty herbs and spices $8 (Tuesday); a greasy wheel of processed meat with two sides of buttered dripping $10 (Wednesday); two patties of flame-grilled grissle with chips and fizzy water for less than $6 (Thursday); and a bread roll with fried chicken, nuggets, chips and a can of drink for $12 (Friday).
To be fair to the process of bargain hunting, I’ve turned to supermarket catalogues for answers.
Of the half-price items, there are no fruit, vegetable or meat options, although my kitchen and self will be well cleaned with an assortment of powders, rinsing agents and creams.
I do note that frozen dumplings and canned frankfurts would set my friend back $7. Bring in a bottle of sports drink for $2 and we write Monday off as a win.
Tuesday is more of a challenge, but I feel a combo of Tim Tams and Tee Vee snacks at $5 could be supplemented with a side of green olives with chilli and garlic to boost nutritional value. Total cost $8. Another win.
Wednesday’s wheel of meat is an easy beat. A box of Coco Pops and a bottle of milk for $6. Day sorted. If he misses his chips, throw in a bag of potato crisps for $2.50 and we’re still ahead.
True, this is not overly helpful. But it does expose the supermarkets.
So I search for a home burger option. Mince $6, cheese block $6; bread rolls $3.
Pre-packed slaw is on special, but beyond that we’re looking at pumpkin, carrot and potato as a topper.
Our burger comes in at just under $20. We’ll get two days out of all that and a sore wrist from chopping the cheese.
Frozen meals come in at $4.50 or so each which – let’s face it – are a viable ploy in the battle for common sense.
Universities require a thesis, which is this: Supermarkets need to start discounting fruit, vegetables and fresh meat the same way they do chips, chocolate and cleaning agent.
Hey Wanda, where did you put that robe and funny hat you wore at your graduation? I might need it.
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