Last week, I sat on the fence about food allergies. I bemoaned that the solution in schools was to shelve any foods which might trigger allergies.
That’s right, Seinfeld fans, no soup for you!
Then, while turning my fickle argument on a dime, I agreed that nobody wanted the responsibility that comes with peddling a peanut to the wrong kid – the one who blows up like a balloon, short of breath and in immediate need of medical attention. Good idea – take the nuts away.
This week however, there shall be no each-way bets. I’m savage that some schools are deciding to ban Christmas in pursuit of multiculturalism.
They’ve somehow come to the conclusion that the best way to be diverse and inclusive is to neutralise the playing field – take away any whisper of diversity and all will be okay. Nothing to see here, people.
It’s got me thinking and I’ve come up with a radical plan.
How about, at the start of the school year, each school does a headcount of its cultural representation. Teachers then go away and map the key religious or festive celebrations of each culture onto a calendar.
Instead of taking away the joy that comes with celebrating a fat man climbing down a chimney or the religious beliefs that come with it, allow children to celebrate all events. Every day if that’s what it takes.
The school year starts just after Australia Day. It’s fitting that we could use that as a catalyst for the rest of the year, celebrating not who we have traditionally been, instead who we have become.
On the fourth Saturday of the month in Nara, Japan, people gather for a huge bonfire. They set alight the grass on a nearby mountain, and top it with fireworks. It drives away any wild boars in the area – not important to many of us, but maybe if we don’t spell it out, the children might think we’re driving away the bores.
Oh to be the school with a kid from Nara. Children could contribute to the bonfire with wrapping paper and unwanted Christmas gifts.
You might accuse me of trivialising the deep religious significance of Christmas.
Try telling that to the Chinese kids who under my cunning plan would be teaching the class about the beliefs behind the Lion dance, red gift packets, flowers and treats during Chinese New Year.
Or the Thai kids who during their new year would be the reason every child in class engages in a take-no-prisoners water war during Songkran, hammering home a message that it’s all about washing away one’s sins.
As they’d celebrate the day Christ was born, in May there could be a party to celebrate the day Buddha was born (Vesakha).
Throw in the Festival of Chariots to worship Krishna (Hindu) in June. And follow it up in July by celebrating Ramadan, and what the prophet Muhammad means to the Muslim community.
Controversial? I’m only just getting warmed up. We already have Reconciliation Day in May. Maori new year can be celebrated in June, so all school kids could be filling their sandpits with hot coals and a wild beast. Long jump would never be the same again.
There are schools in Logan with almost 100 different cultures. All I see is a very long menu.
Children are not overly different to my aunt Beryl who never looked past an opportunity to party. She cared not who she danced with or to what music. And she never really worried about why she was having a good time. But she always bothered to ask.
Maybe there will be a generation of children who have no need to ask because they no longer care about the colour, religion or culture of the person beside them. Rather, they’ll embrace it and share in the celebration – just as they did at school.
