It’s hard to knock Christmas.
Like them or not, carols play in shopping centres. People generally seem in better cheer than they do when there’s less to look forward to.
The other day I heard a gentleman older and grumpier-looking that me humming about his mummy kissing Santa Claus, and later the same morning a lady tapping her toe to a Mariah Carey tune. All she wanted for Christmas was “you”. If only we could establish who “you” was, the whole thing might have made more sense.
And it’s stonefruit season. What’s to complain about except that darn person who put their finger into one of the peaches at the shopping centre a couple of weeks ago?
I must confess that when the fruit makes its way into a Christmas cake, there’s a lot to look forward to until a glace cherry finds its way into a hole I was sure was once filled with dental silver.
Christmas trees are nice. They litter, but the neat ones can brighten up an otherwise dull room.
So yes, this time of year has its upside.
The only thing I can’t get my head around is the Christmas lights.
Before you get all judgey and start calling me the Grinch, I’m not talking about those displays that have clearly been thought through by people who fill their front yard with care and logic.
Piggy-backing powerboards aside, the better ones will theme their yard, put candy canes next to candy canes, and ensure lights are coloured in some semblance of pattern.
I’m talking about a fairy light string – yes, sometimes only one – bought from the shop, perhaps because whoever bougth it thought the box housed a kit which would turn their house into Times Square.
In actual fact, that single strand of a dozen bulbs poses moreso a fire risk than it does a mood swing for onlookers.
If you must start your collection with such a token of gesture to the neighbourhood that the spirit of Christmas has not been lost on you, please do my OCD a favour. Hang it central, perhaps above a doorway or window, give your tiny display a reason to exist, allow it to enhance a feature of your garden.
Make it worth the effort. Please.
