COME 6 o’clock on election night, it is tradition for Wanda and I to grab a blanket, turn on the television, and watch history unfold as the country’s votes are tallied.

I’ll often grab a pie, which I feel is more Australian than the sausage so many associate with democracy.

It would be silly to suggest we invented the meat and gravy morsel of temptation, but nobody’s embraced the wholesome pastry treat quite like the Aussies.

As stations swung into election mode, it was clear nothing much would change out Logan way. Rarely does.

Our city cousins in Brisbane however, had decided to change things up a little. They’d injected a tinge of green into their sizzling snags – a surprise to many, except the legion of disenfranchised voters who aborted the major parties.

It was a shame though, that the so-called wall of dreams couldn’t keep up with the emerging three-cornered contests. You’ll hear it first, they claimed. What they meant to say was that we’d hear it as fast as the Australian Electoral Commission could provide it.

Excited by technology brought in from CNN’s American election coverage, it was evident the software was only as good as the Channel 7 data analysts who’d programmed it.

The bottom line was that the AEC prepared itself for traditional Labor vs LNP contests.

This information had been used to inform the wall and until someone awoke from their slumber to address the emerging nightmare, information from the dreamcatcher was wrong.

Early fail. Click. Change channel.

Channel 9 sadly was no better. Somehow, those employed on their panel had no idea how preferential voting works.

What I heard was a no-name Labor politician firing barbs at a retired LNP politician, claiming LNP preferences would hand the Greens a Brisbane seat. The retort was that the LNP candidate had actually preferenced Labor above the Greens.

There was more that got caught in the brain fog. Meaningless jibber from people we trusted the reins of our country.

To sum it up, their complicated mess of semantics was wrong. Moot. Unnecessary. They couldn’t see past their political point-scoring to understand that preferences weren’t going to matter anyway.

What do I care? I don’t, really. But I do expect that those being paid to guide us through the process would have some semblance of a clue.

You see, the LNP candidate they were referring to was leading the count – was never going to win, but was always going to be one of the top two candidates, meaning his preferences would never be relevant.

For those who don’t know, here’s how it works. Let’s say there are five candidates contesting a seat. Once all votes are counted, the person ranked 5th is axed from the race. Their Number 2 preferences are distributed to the other four candidates.

This is usually a minor party or little known independent. Their 1% of the vote has little impact.

Then, the person ranked 4th is axed, and their preferences distributed to the other three. For those who put a number “2” next to the name of the one already axed from 5th position, their number “3” will be distributed as the preference.

Clear as mud? Never mind, stick with me.

That leaves a race of three candidates. In this case, LNP leading, Greens in 2nd and Labor 3rd. So, the process continues and the candidate in 3rd is now axed from the race. Labor’s preferences go to the Greens, and they win the seat.

See! Simple.

Another fail. Click. Change channel.

Even Auntie was struggling with the whole three-cornered contest thing, taking some time to give the Greens in Griffith and Ryan an actual chance.

At least the ABC had employed some faces we’d come to know and trust. But few, it would seem, had prepared themselves for the unexpected on election night.

Click. Catch up on sport.

Click. Scomo’s concession speech. Click. Albo’s victory speech.

Click. TV off.

I perhaps should clarify that I’m not a Greens voter. Wanda and I are both swinging voters, which has nothing to do with keys in a bowl. Rather, we vote for who we feel is right for the country at any given election.

That’s our right. It’s your right. It’s why democracy is fundamentally great – until clowns in suits come in and muck it all up with their bogus commentary.

Hey Wanda, got any good books lying around?

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