A Logan-based charity supporting bereaved parents has warned locals to keep an eye out for loved ones as the Christmas period approaches.
“It is especially tough for bereaved parents, both from a personal point of view and from my discussions with other bereaved parents,” said Wayne Pascoe, the founder and director of the Ladybird Care Foundation.
“Just this week I had a discussion with a mum for an hour and 20 minutes on the phone – she’s been bereaved five years, but now at this particular time of year she’s doing it tough.”
The organisation provides free peer support services to parents who have lost a child.
It recruits and trains mentors with lived experience to provide personalised care to bereaved parents.
Mr Pascoe and his wife Maree created the Ladybird Care Foundation in 2020, six years after the death of their daughter – who they called their “Lily Ladybird” – Emma Louise.
At eight-weeks-old baby Emma was diagnosed with a rare mitochondrial disorder with an enlarged and damaged heart.
As a result, she suffered severe developmental delays and was told she wouldn’t survive past her first birthday.
“… but were blessed to have 18 precious years with our beautiful girl,” Ms Pascoe said.
“That day at the hospital, exactly one month after her 18th birthday, when we had the unbearable task of saying goodbye to our precious daughter, was beyond words.
“The ensuing weeks and months were immensely dark and lonely, with friends and family desperately trying to support us whilst dealing with their own grief – we felt alone and isolated.”
She said bereavement care for her family was non-existent at the time, so they sought out counselling.
“We were told by health professionals that it was common for the family unit, friendships and other human connections to be negatively impacted after such a traumatic life event.
“Not wanting other parents and families to experience their grief journeys alone, we became passionate about finding a way to help others.”
Initially the foundation funded a position within Queensland Children’s Hospital to oversee the peer mentoring program.
Now the Ladybird Care Foundation employs its own team of specialist professionals –social workers and psychologists – to make peer mentoring support more widely available and free to all parents.
Mr and Ms Pascoe are in the process of extending Ladybird support to bereaved grandparents and siblings.
“Grandparents are often marginalised,” Mr Pascoe said.
“They’ve got double the grief – the grief of losing their grandchild and the grief of watching their child grieve losing a child – so they’re often disenfranchised from care.
“We want to make that available to them.”
He said another “forgotten” group was bereaved siblings.
“We’ve seen this firsthand with my son, who was 10 when his older sister passed away.
“At the time he was okay – he was actually a bit of a lifeline and strength for us – but when he got to 16, that’s when it really hit him.”
They’re also hoping to extend their services beyond south-east Queensland.
To join the peer mentoring program, or to seek support, contact the Ladybird team at mentoring@ladybirdcare.org.au or on 0457655828.
