My mother isn’t with us any more, but I’m surrounded by them.
I know I can be a cantankerous old fool, but a sentimental one who likes to spoil the girls at every opportunity.
Wanda will roll her eyes at such a self-indulgent suggestion, claiming she’s usually on her own. And to be fair, she’s got her network of friends that don’t invite male gibberings into their illustrious corner.
Every year however, the puzzle seems to become more cryptic. What to buy that you didn’t buy last year?
Flowers are lovely, albeit a predictable largesse.
So I, with some reluctance might I add, was sitting at the weekend along with hundreds of thousands of others watching the Commonwealth’s new king and queen crowned in a two-hour ceremony that seemed an eternity.
Some will tell me what a joy it was to see the choirs of various types belt their tunes through the acoustics of an intricately designed abbey.
Others have already told me of the pageantry and the carefully-worded dialogue, and the once-in-a-lifetime presentation of gifts from different faiths to their new protestant monarch.
Interesting, I suppose, and a few hours I’ll take to my grave.
But nobody does “boring” better than the Anglicans, even when blessed with fanfare trumpets, violins and a well-trained group of sopranos, tenors and baritones.
So I needed an outlet.
And Wanda’s gift was preying on my wandering mind.
I focused, looking for inspiration that would make this weekend’s Mother’s Day one to remember for the female parents in my life.
Wanda will probably say she’s deserving of a crown, and I’m happy to have her believe she’s the one making all the decisions around the house. What did I say? Cantankerous old fool?
But a crown wouldn’t be taken in the jest intended. Scratched.
There was a flash looking sword, which Wanda probably wouldn’t have much use for, albeit an impressive way to cut the kabana and cheese when guests arrive.
She does, however, need some steak knives, and there’s a store at the shopping centre that’s selling them at 50% off during its three-year closing down sale. Consider.
They presented Charles with a bible, and there was another book being walked around the church that commentators branded “priceless”.
I prefer to leave the priceless gifts up to the children who once framed a picture they’d drawn in crayon, with twigs picked from the school grounds.
Problem wasn’t the quality of the art, rather that the twigs were fresh and attracted ants to the fridge where Wanda had hung her new treasure with the magnets we bought during our last holiday.
Wanda doesn’t get a lot of time to read. She’s always out “helping” people. Maybe later.
Charles was given bracelets of sincerity and wisdom. Well, there’d be a touch or irony in me presenting Wanda with bracelets branding the words “sincerity” and “wisdom”.
I’m not sure she’d see the humour but it’s something I’d find hilarious. Wanda is one of the most sincere, wise human beings I know.
It’s that they’d be coming from me. Oh, never mind.
Jewellery is always an option, but I’d probably choose something a little less bulky than those given to the new king.
He did have a nice orb though. And there’s always a nice selection of orb-like ornaments hanging from a bracelet or a necklace.
Yes, maybe that’s the answer. An orb. A mother’s day orb with a rose or equally delicate flower embossed on the side.
Nothing too big or it’d end up in the fridge with butter in it, or as a toy for Wags who’d be chasing it around like Harry Potter’s snitch.
Something far more intricate, lady-like, charming. Royal, even.
Hey Wanda, do you know of any good orb shops in the vicinity? We need to go shopping.
