I wonder what it really means to “be a man”?
Listening to the nightly news in passing, I heard the phrase uttered from the potty mouth of a rugby league player, suggesting someone, about something I couldn’t care less about, should “be a man”. Or did he say “man up”? Semantics.
The point is, and it’s true rugby league players aren’t known for their correct usage of the English tongue, that what he probably meant to say was that the person needed to “toughen up”, “front up”, “train up”.
The boorish television talent in all likelihood had a visual in his head of what it meant to “be a man” but failed step one in communication by not articulating the detail.
Let’s give the guy, whoever he was, the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say he was IQ challenged, and that it was his literacy skills that let him down, rather than his intent.
For if it was his intent to use the phrase in its literal form, I’m left befuddled.
Do real men really wear pink? A phrase used to laud a male figure for resisting traditional values that blue is for boys. And fair enough, too.
Are real men tough? Sure, tough enough to tell their friends that their daughters and their wives are more important to them than a beer at the pub with their mates.
Tough enough to control their temper when the responsibilities of home life overwhelm them. Tough enough to say “I love you” when the going gets rough.
Is to “be a man” about being the guy who stands up for the person who’s being maligned for their race, religion or sexuality?
Perhaps to “be a man” is to take the bullying on the chin because another man misinterpreted what it meant when someone told him he should “be a man”. Think about it.
There have been a few occasions Wanda has suggested I “man up”, but I think she was playing on my pride. I’d probably forgotten to vacuum the carpet, mow the lawn, iron our clothes or wash the dishes. I’d probably given a book too much attention, neglecting my responsibilities as half of a partnership.
I can accept the context and beg for forgiveness of my unmanly ways.
Although spoken in jest by my dear Wanda, and possibly frustration, the real question remains why any of these traits – courage, kindness, integrity, bravery, or any others which constitute a fine human being – need to be gender driven.
If we were to drill down to the bare expression of what it means to “be a man”, it becomes superfluous. Never does it mean to have hair on one’s chest or testosterone in one’s body. Usually, it is merely a clumsy way of suggesting a man develop traits befitting of his role in the human race.
The real shame isn’t the ungainly choice of expression. It’s that those lacking such traits are usually men.
I’d like to speak to the character who uttered the phrase on national television to ask what he truly meant. I’d like to suggest that his choice of words was offensive to everyone – men and women alike.
I’d like him to realise that his language was potentially a contributor to poor male behaviour, and that he probably should stop being a dolt in public.
